The most wonderful time of the year...

I love lists. More than that, I love end of the year countdown lists. More than that, I love all time favorite lists. So here's my must-see Christmas list every year:

(I stuck to 10 because it's a nice round number. Honorable Mentions - Bad Santa, Harold and Kumar Christmas, Die Hard & Elf)

#10 - One Magic Christmas (1985)
An obscure choice, I'm aware. But I saw it when I was little and it always stuck with me. An interesting take on 'A Christmas Carol' a mysterious angel (Harry Dean Stanton) tries to show a disillusioned mom (Mary Steenburgen) just how good she has it despite her bad attitude. He goes to extreme lengths but it really is very sweet.

#9 - Mr. Magoo's Christmas Carol (1962)
Yet another Christmas Carol retelling, but so old school it's charming. The music is so damn enjoyable and even after being scarred by my brother singing about Razzleberry dressing all my life, I still perk up when the music begins. 

#8 - Home Alone (1990)
Right before I graduated high school I got to see the adorable Macaulay Culkin take on the robbers in his home. STILL get choked up when the 'scary' old man reunites with his granddaughter at the end. A lot of sweet moments. Best memory is seeing it in Scranton, PA and the entire theatre cheering when she asked what airport she was at and the attendant saying 'Scranton.'

#7 - The Year Without a Santa Claus (1974)
Of all the stop-motion animation classics around this time of year, this is my favorite. As if Jingle and Jangle aren't great as sidekicks, Mrs. Claus is adorable as she negotiates with Mother nature to get her sons to cooperate. And are there better Christmas characters than Snow Miser and Heat Miser?

#6 - White Christmas (1954)
Okay, so I can be a sucker for the classics too. Mostly because traditionally, my mother would throw this VHS tape on Thanksgiving night while she began to write out her Christmas cards. But there are so many great moments and I dare you to try and keep a dry eye when the General walks in and sees all his soldiers. 

#5 - Scrooged (1988)
And yet ANOTHER version of A Christmas Carol, but it stars Bill Murray! Sarcasm is exactly what this old tale needed and he's just the guy to do it. Carol Kane as the Ghost of Christmas Present is just perfection. And yes, as a member of the theatre audience I actually DID sing along with the end number as requested by Mr. Murray.

#4 - It's a Wonderful Life (1946)
Well I would just be a heartless shrew if I omitted this one. Jimmy Stewart is at his most adorable and vulnerable and I can't even think about Harry Bailey coming in at the end without weeping. 

#3 - Christmas Vacation (1989)
The Griswolds have always been very prominent in our household growing up as my brother, Lee, aspired to be him. He even has his wife call him Sparky. We quote this movie verbatim around the holidays. Mostly because the squirrel scene actually did happen in our living room one year. 

#2 - Love Actually (2003)
Ten years ago, two of my friends and I were on our way to a Simon & Garfunkel concert. It was cancelled due to laryngitis. Instead we went to see this movie and we were all so madly in love with it. I still laugh and cry at the same places I did that night every time I watch it. I'm sorry, there is nothing more adorable than Hugh Grant's little butt shaking as soon as the Pointer Sisters start singing. This movie has something for everyone.

#1 - A Christmas Story (1983)
Why? Because this is Christmas. Long before it was a 24 hour marathon, we found it somewhere on TV. And I can still hear my brothers laughing as little boys and as grown men each and every year. This is the symbol of Christmas to me and my family and I will love it always.

This is the first Christmas I will be at home in 3 years. The last Christmas I was home for as we were suffering from the loss of my father as well as my nephew. I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to taking in the above movies/TV shows and being surrounded by all this laughter once again.

Friendsgiving

This may come as a shock...but I'm a huge Friends fan. Friends was the biggest show around when I was in college and me and my best friend, Chris were faithful viewers. We taped (yes taped) every episode and every weekend we would start from the beginning and watch them all. We have an in sane memory for every episode, lines, characters, episode titles, it's quite ridiculous.
They did so many things right, but one of the things they did best were Thanksgiving themed episodes. Out of 10 seasons, they did 9 of them. Season 2 didn't technically have one even though it is mentioned that it is Thanksgiving time. So in this happy time of year, these are my rankings of Friends Thanksgiving episodes.

#9 - The One with All the Thanksgivings (Season 5)
I know...a lot of people like this episode and I do too. Just because I'm ranking it last doesn't mean I don't love it. It is filled with cute moments via flashbacks including Chandler finding out his Dad was having an affair with the poolboy (More turkey, Mr. Chandler?) and Phoebe saving lives in the war. But it's mostly centered around the origin of Chandler and Monica's meeting. There are a lot of inside jokes about Ross dating Carol and Monica being fat and Rachel's nose etc. And let's not forget the priceless Joey's head in a turkey moment as well as Monica's cute little dance in it at the end. However, for me, it just pales in comparison to the others.
Favorite Line - Ross: Okay, umm, her name is Carol. And she's really pretty. And smart. And uh, she's-she's on the lacrosse team and the golf team. Can you believe it? She plays for both teams!

#8 - The One with the Football (Season 3)
CLEARLY set on a sound stage and not outside, a longtime sibling rivalry comes to blows when it's Monica vs. Ross on the football field. Once they turn it into a gender match, the girls really come alive using the best weapon at their disposal...their boobs. I'm a sucker for episodes where Monica and Ross fight like actual siblings. And pitting Joey vs. Chandler in picking up a hot girl? Priceless.
Favorite Line - Ross: Cheater, cheater, compulsive eater.

#7 - The One Where Underdog Gets Away (Season 1)
Ah, Season 1 when everyone's hair and jeans were super high. But it really does encapsulate the group as a whole. Joey's been ostracized because his family thinks he has VD, Chandler convinces everyone to watch a balloon escape from the parade, Monica is busy trying to please everyone and Rachel is focused entirely on herself trying to join her family in the lifestyle she cannot afford. Of course it all goes wrong and they spend the holiday together eating Grilled Cheese. For me, this episode really set up what the show would eventually become.
Favorite Line - Rachel: Oh, you got the bigger half, what'd you wish for?
                             Joey: The bigger half...

#6 - The One with the Late Thanksgiving (Season 10)
I loved that in its last season, they were all forced together by a series of unfortunate events again. I would have been completely satisfied if it showed them eating Grilled Cheese again but I guess that's too formulaic. It all comes down to Phoebe and Rachel being late because they secretly enter Emma in a baby beauty pageant for money and Ross and Joey being late after sneaking out to a hockey game. (Do the Rangers play on Thanskgiving???) Monica is pissed and refuses to let them in. Hilarity ensues.
Favorite Line - Rachel - To Monica, Chandler and that knocked up girl in Ohio.

#5 - The One with Chandler in a Box (Season 4)
Chandler is sentenced to spend the holiday in a giant box as penance for stealing Joey's girlfriend. Outside the box, Monica invites Richard's son to dinner. Everyone is in a bad place, Rachel and Ross are still bitter post-breakup and Chandler isn't taking his punishment seriously. I always get choked up at man love and Joey's realization that Chandler really does love Kathy is just awesome.
Favorite Line - Monica - How cute is the on-call doctor?
                             Rachel - So cute I'm thinkin' about jammin' this pen in my eye.

#4 - The One Where Ross Got High (Season 6)
Season 6 is probably my least favorite season and yet I loved this episode. Again, LOVE when Monica and Ross act like siblings and their final 'reveal-off' to their parents at the end makes the episode one of my favorites. Rachel tries desperately to cook which is almost as adorable as everyone trying to pretend she didn't mess it up.
Favorite Line - Joey: Yeah, yeah, and the Indians taught the Pilgrims what it meant to be hot in the new world!

#3 - The One With the Rumor (Season 8)
Of course it's a little bittersweet now, but Brad Pitt guest starring as Rachel's nemesis is still insanely funny. And good GOD that boy is good looking which Phoebe and even Chandler repeatedly point out.
Favorite Line - Chandler: Oh hey. I’d shake your hand but uh; I’m really into the game. Plus, I think it’d be better for my ego if we didn’t stand right next to each other.

#2 - The One with Rachel's Other Sister (Season 9)
Is there better casting in this series than Christina Applegate as Rachel's spoiled sister, Amy? Her arrival to this holiday, Ross's distaste for her, Monica's insanity about her fine china, Chandler being offended that he is thought of as non-responsible, Joey forgetting about his commitment to the Macy's parade...oh it's just magic from top to bottom.
Favorite Line - Will (Brad Pitt): Look at her standing there with those yams! My two greatest enemies, Ross; Rachel Green and complex carbohydrates.

#1 - The One where Chandler Doesn't Like Dogs (Season 7)
Why? Because I don't like dogs. And that is EXACTLY how people react when you admit it. But also, Joey advising Rachel to hit on tag is one of my favorite scenes in the entire series. Ross trying to figure out all 50 states or he can't eat is just a quintessential moment that old friends would do to each other. I love it. I love it all.
Favorite Line - Chandler: Look Ross, if you don't know them by now, you will never know them, okay? That is the beauty of this game. It makes you want to kill yourself.

Isn't a fun? Sigh...Happy Thanksgiving.

The end of the calendar year

So clearly, I started this blog last January during a very, very tough part of my service. I do hate the month of January. I have since abandoned it. I think the great failing is, it turned to summarizing instead of just watching and enjoying and commenting. I watch way too much TV to write about everything I watch. TV is still my favorite medium and I am definitely going to have to find something to do again for January so let's catch up. So, regardless of whether they are on hiatus or not, here are the shows I am currently obsessed with:

Can't miss:

• The Walking Dead
• Breaking Bad
• Mad Men
• Dexter
• Homeland
• Community
• The Vampire Diaries
• Parks and Recreation
• The League
• Shameless
• Psych
• Pretty Little Liars
• Modern Family
• Cougartown
• Smash
• Newsroom
• Teen Wolf
• Downton Abbey
• Go On
• Sherlock
• The Daily Show

Watch, but not as obsessively:

• Californication
• Episodes
• Girls
• Dallas
• American Horror Story
• Glee
• The Office
• The Big Bang Theory
• 30 Rock
• It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
• Fringe
• True Blood
• How I Met Your Mother
• New Girl
• The New Normal
• Game of Thrones
• Hart of Dixie
• Revolution
• Doctor Who

I know, it's despicable. I just love TV shows so much. I should probably get a life. I think it's a little easier now that you can buy entire seasons and watch shows in their entirety. So maybe I don't have to be a slave to my DVR anymore.
I will say that I think AMC still has the best shows on television. The Walking Dead, Mad Men and Breaking Bad are without a doubt the best shows on television. No other shows keep me as riveted and obsessed as these 3. They make me reminiscent of Lost.
I don't know what else I have to say. I guess I just felt like updating this blog. I hope to get back to it. I have a feeling as the cold winter tumbles in to the Eastern bloc, I will be looking for something to do. I can't study Russian all day every day.

Fringe "Enemy of My Enemy" S4E9

So the mystery man from the end of the last episode was apparently David Robert Jones, a big bad from Season 1. I do not remember him but let's see where we go now.
Through surveillance, Alt-Broyles discover that Olivia B and Lincoln B have hidden Lincoln on the premises. He goes to investigate when he is stopped by Walternate and Peter. He informs Alt-Broyles about the shapeshifter problem. Olivia B and Lincoln B go to investigate the origin of that phone call that the cop made in last episode and it takes them to an abandoned warehouse. (I mean doesn't everything?) They meat up with David Robert Jones. He shows them his collection of shapeshifters as he's very proud of them, like his children. He kills one right in front of them to show them that if he'll do that to someone he loves, imagine what he'd do to someone he doesn't. He surrenders easily and asks to be 'taken to their leader.'
Olivia approaches Astrid to check a blood sample against the international database. Olivia confesses to her that Lincoln and Peter crossed over to the other universe so that Peter can get 'home.' Astrid doesn't understand until she realizes Broyles has no idea. She wishes Olivia luck as she has to go tell Broyles what's going on since Peter and Lincoln have yet to return.
Olivia B and Lincoln B arrive to Alt-Broyles with David Robert Jones (We'll call him DRJ) and fill AB in that DRJ is a psycho. Lincoln tells Peter that they're bringing in the suspect of who tried to have them killed. Peter tells them they're ready to go home since Walternate has agreed to help him but Lincoln wants to stay and help. Peter is scared that he can't get home and yells at Lincoln that it's time for them to go...until the suspect comes in and he recognizes DRJ.
Alt-Broyles interrogates DRJ. DRJ tells him that since the scientist was 'taken offline' today, he needs the hard drive on scientists desk and they have 15 minutes to get it to him. Peter and Lincoln arrive to inform Walternate who DRJ is and he's a scientist and that he crossed over from the other side. Peter asks if he can talk to him. AB advises against it but Walternate grants him permission. Peter levels him since he knows exactly who he is. His blood pressure spikes. Even though he's never met Peter, Peter knows him. He was the one who created the portal (NOW I REMEMBER HIM) and Peter closed it on him and cut him in half. DRJ tells him he's run out of time. AB gets a call and needs to be heard by AB, DRJ and Walternate to hear. A doctor calls from a hospital and has them listen as she releases a toxin that kills a floor full of people.
Olivia goes to Broyles to confess, but he knows what she did. He knows all...as Alt Broyles informed him what happened already. Insubordination will be dealt with later, but right now DRJ has to be dealt with. In this reality, neither of them have ever heard of DRJ either but it is definitely a situation that both sides need to handle.
DRJ threatens to kill more people with more chemical destruction unless he's released. Walternate grants his release which does not make Lincoln happy. Lincoln B put a tracker into DRJ's tea so he'll be monitored. They grant Lincoln permission to be on their team for the investigation. Alt Broyles releases DRJ and provides him with the hard drive he requested. (Nice tight T-Shirt, Lance Reddick!) Confused, didn't Alt Broyles confer with him last week?
They all watch DRJ but DRJ is pretty much aware he's being constantly watched so he's doing nothing. Olivia B and Lincoln have a heart to heart. She tells him that although Lincoln B and her are close, their relationship is platonic. DRJ pulls something from the trash including a wad of cash. He randomly offers cash to people. As a crowd gathers, Astrid and Peter sees the tracking signal multiplies. He has figured out the signal and put the same one on all the money he gave out. He is now untraceable and leaves in a car waiting for him. As he drives away, Alt Broyles sees him but does nothing. (Huh?)
Elizabeth comforts Walternate on the bad day he's had. He's visibly upset but Elizabeth calls him out about being upset about Peter as well. He's tried to see what Peter's saying but there isn't anything he can do to help Peter. Only Walter can. Elizabeth thinks maybe she can help him.
Peter asks Alternate Astrid if he can use her computer. She is fascinated that he's from another timeline. I like alternate Astrid. She's a total nerd. Lincoln asks Olivia B that he is troubled that DRJ pinpointed their technology so quickly. He thinks that he was tipped off by someone on their team. Alt. Astrid tips them off that Peter knows where DRJ is headed. Peter thinks he's looking for a mineral which can be used as a power source. He knows because back in his home universe, William Bell used it and DRJ stole it in that reality. They pinpoint it to the Mohonk Quarry in the Hudson River Valley. When they arrive, it seems that the Quarry is clear and secure the perimeter. Peter is patched through and point out an access road that should be guarded but they don't see it. Peter realizes that they are in the wrong universe. (This show is confusing.)
DRJ crosses over to the other side.
Walter has a visitor...it's Elizabeth from the other side. She tells him right away that she's not his wife but her counterpart from the other side. She asks why he's refusing to help Peter. Elizabeth tells him that he needs to save his life. She hasn't seen Walter since he came to steal Peter from her. But she forgives him. He doesn't want her forgiveness though. He's been punished for it ever since. He's come to terms that there is no absolution for him. She convinces him that even though this isn't his son, or her son, there is some part of their son in him and he deserves to go back to the people he loves. He needs to help him. Walter is scared...but so is Peter.
Peter and Lincoln arrive back and are greeted by Broyles and Olivia and tries to place the blame on himself but Olivia's in a lot of trouble. It's okay though, she's used to it.

The FBI in this universe invades the Quarry and DRJ is there. They are under fire as soon as they arrive but they fend them off. DRJ takes off and Olivia chases after him. Peter gets on the walkie talkie and warns her not to chase DRJ because he'll go through the portal and it will kill Olivia. She stops in time and portal chops off the front half of her car.
The two universes meet for a council. Walternate leads the meeting with each counterparts sit across from each other. Only Walternate and Peter are without counterparts. They agree to work together to stop the shape shifters. Lincoln doesn't know how to go after DRJ since DRJ is always one step ahead of them. He holds all the cards. Peter disagrees. They have him. He knows DRJ and that is one variable that DRJ didn't count on. They stopped him once before they can do it again with Peter's help. Olivia wants to know everything about DRJ. She wants to jump right in but Peter wants to go get some sleep. She thanks him profusely for saving her life at the Quarry. (Spark?) Are we rooting for these two or no?
Walter arrives to see Peter. He tells Peter what a wonderful woman his mother was. Peter realizes that Elizabeth came to see him. Walter offers his help to Peter. Peter is thrilled. He tells Walter that Walternate surprised him by not being the man he thought he was. He's even happier that Walter turned out to be the man he knew he was.
DRJ sends a mysterious message telling a computer that Phase One is completed and ask what was next. A response comes through that in due time, 'she'll' be ready. It comes from Nina Sharp!

Chuck "Chuck Versus the Bullet Train" S5E11

Chuck's being held hostage in Tokyo by Nikolai? Nikolai informs him that he's pretty sure Chuck is a dead man. Chuck starts to believe him, but Casey and Sarah are on the bullet train with them as they were smuggled in coffins. Clever! Sarah is trying to figure out how to break the news to Chuck that she is now the intersect. Casey keeps quizzing her to see if her mind is melting like Morgan's did. He is concerned.
Back at the Castle, Ellie, Awesome and Alex are treating Morgan like a lab rat trying to figure out where the intersect hurt him so they can help Sarah from the side effects. Morgan wants to be in the field with the team but they need him to diagnose the problems with the intersect.
Chuck tries a lame excuse to escape by using his wedding ring but Sarah breaks in and saves him. She flashes and beats the two guards with ease. Chuck's impressed. She doesn't have time to break the news to him so she just puts his ring back on him. But they don't get off the train in time. Chuck, Sarah and Casey are trapped on the train with Nikolai. Nikolai finds them but Sarah quickly entraps him into the coffin that she arrived in. Sarah accidentally mentions that she flashed and Chuck realizes what happened. Sarah and Casey are trying to figure out how to get off the train but Chuck is panicking since Sarah downloaded the same version that Morgan had in his head.
Morgan feels pretty damn useless as Ellie and Awesome try to analyze his brain activity. They grill him about what may have happened. They realize that there may be a correlation between number of flashes and brain deterioration.
Sarah assures Chuck that she will rid herself of the intersect as soon as they are safe and she has Ellie and Awesome testing Morgan to figure out the root of the problem. They are in the midst of an awkward silence until they both burst at the seems about how freaking cool the intersect is. But she agrees that she doesn't want it as she wants to retire and start a family with him. Chuck suggests they 'practice' while they wait for the train to arrive at its destination.
At the Buy More, Morgan has set up a flu shot station in his absence. Big Mike threatens Lester to not mess up the Buy More on his watch. He wants him to act more like Jeff. Jeff concurs with Big Mike. Jeff is still convinced there is something going on but Lester chalks it all up to dreams and wants to act like a child like he always does so he doesn't have to think about the possibility. Alex comes up to the Buy More to buy some Combos for Morgan when the flu shot people take her hostage. Jeff and Lester witness the act. They are determined to figure out the truth.
Nikolai convinces Casey to open the coffin by letting him know that he has his daughter in custody. She calls and confirms.
Chuck and Sarah, post-practice, draw up a sketch of their future with the white picket fence and children. (This show better have a happy ending or I will kill someone). Casey calls but they ignore it.
They go to find him but he pulls a gun on them and take them to Nikolai. He has no choice. Through an ear piece, Nikolai feeds him what to say and he reveals to them that Nikolai has Alex. He instructs them to shut down the dining car so Nikolai will have some privacy. Chuck tries to talk to Sarah in Pig Latin (really?). Under his breath, Casey tells Chuck to text Morgan and inform him that Alex has been kidnapped and to get out of the Buy More. Morgan's confused because Alex is in Castle with them. They pull up the video feed and see her get taken. They're in an RV/Flu Shot Mobile outside the Buy More but it won't start. Thanks to super spies Jeff and Lester outside the store who have filled the gas tank with sugar. Maybe they're useful after all?
Casey delivers Chuck and Sarah to the Dining Car to meet Nikolai. Nikolai demands the intersect. Sarah says she'll hand over the glasses if he releases Alex but Nikolai knows the glasses are useless and Sarah has the intersect. Nikolai is prepared to kill all three of them unless they produce another version of the intersect within a half hour. Chuck steals a pair of chopsticks and places them in Sarah's back pocket which she uses to get the gun out of Nikolai's hand and fights him off. She gets caught up in the moment and kicks him out the window but they need him to get Alex back. Since she flashed a few times, her head starts to go nuts and she collapses with head pains.
Ellie calls Chuck and tells him that she's flashing way too often and that is what is giving Sarah's migraines. She has flashed over 40 times in a few days which is really bad because she can't control when she flashes. Meanwhile, Awesome and Morgan are on the phone with Casey as he instructs them how to get into the RV. Ellie advises Chuck how to build a compressor advice to stop Sarah from flashing. Chuck goes into nerd more and gets ready to build it. Casey and Awesome are on the case. They get to Casey's car and it is stocked with ammunition as Casey talks them into how to attack the RV. Chuck raids the train full of Japanese people and steals all their high tech gadgets (racist?) and builds the compressor. Sarah confesses that she doesn't remember anybody named Alex. Chuck pulls out the sketch of their future and she tells him she wouldn't forget that. They reassure her that it will be fine.
Morgan and Awesome are ready to roll and call Casey for the final instructions. First time Sniper, Morgan is ready to fight for his girl when one of the flu shot people discover them and take their guns. They are really bad at this. They hit Morgan and his ear piece falls out. Lester finds it and answers Casey. Casey realizes it's Lester. He lets Chuck know that Jeff and Lester are his only option. Chuck tells him that they're idiots, but they're loyal as hell. They're the only option, go for it. Casey informs Lester that it's Casey and confess that he, Chuck and Sarah are CIA agents and that they are their only hope for Alex, Morgan and Awesome's hope. Casey tells him he'll make him a hero and he sends him to his car to get ammunition.
Nikolai, who somehow managed to hang on when he was booted out the window, re-enters the train from the bottom. The Japanese population is stunned but he bows. (Again, racist?)
The flu shot hit men are ready to kill Alex, Morgan and Awesome per their orders if they don't get a call from Nikolai when a voice comes over the speaker in the RV. It's Jeff and Lester. Lester aka Canadian Rambo appears in armor from head to toe. Jeff with a flame thrower takes the male flu shot bandit out and he surrenders. They save the day. Morgan congratulates them for being heroes and ask how they can repay them. Jeff and Lester just want the truth. Morgan takes them down to the Castle and give them a tour. Alex calls Casey and tells them how Jeff and Lester were the real heroes of the day. Jeff and Lester are like kids in a candy store in the Castle. They're in heaven.
Chuck's compressor is almost uploaded when the network goes off line. He goes to fix it, because if there's one thing Chuck knows it's how to fix a network. He goes to the panel to fix it and is attacked by Nikolai. Chuck doesn't have the intersect anymore so he's got to fight on memory. Since he's gone so long, Sarah sends Casey to check on Chuck but Chuck's doing all right in the fight. Not a slam dunk, but holding his own. But Casey gets there in time. Nikolai takes the Japanese conductor hostage so he can escape. Sarah informs them that he's heading towards the baggage car but they can't get there in time so she goes in. Chuck tries to talk her through it and tells her not to flash. She focuses and gets ready to fight him but he shoots her with a tranquilizer so she's trapped. The car unhooks and she and Nikolai separate from the train.
When Sarah awakes she is tied to a chair in a warehouse. Nikolai has 'flash' cards to force her to flash and erase her memories. 
Back at Castle, Morgan tries desperately to get Chuck to eat something but he's focused on trying to figure out where Nikolai has Sarah. Casey arrives and tells him that she set off her emergency beacon and she's close by. They set off to get her and find her location. When they get there, they are too late. Nikolai and Sarah are gone.
Sarah wakes up the next morning and she is in a comfortable bed in a beautiful apartment but she has no idea where she is. "Nicholas Quinn" (Nikolai) is at the door and she doesn't recognize him. He tells her he is her handler as he has been for the past 5 years. He tells her she took a blow to the head and asks if she remembers anything. She doesn't. He has a mission for her. She's to kill someone. It's Chuck! :(

30 Rock "Idiots are People Two" S6E2

One of the many reasons Tina Fey is brilliant is she can take a real live controversial incident and make it hilarious. In real life, Tracy Morgan offends the gay community. So why not make it into an episode? Ugh, I love her!
Kelsey Grammer storms into Liz's office and informs her there is something wrong with Pete. She rushes to him and his pants are around his ankles with a bag over his head. Huh?
Eight hours earlier...
Jenna asks Kenneth to replace a light bulb in her dressing room. Kenneth happily agrees thinking 'what could go wrong?'
At home, Liz is all happy with new boyfriend Criss (sexy James Marsden). He makes her happy and just understands her. He makes her pancakes and she notices Tracy Jordan is on the news. She turns up the volume and finds out that he offended the gay community. (Ripped from the headlines...)
The gays are out in full force protesting NBC. "When I say NBC, you say 'over it.' NBC, Over IT!" The lead gay in charge point out the 'old bag from TGS' and Liz flips on him until she realizes she is in fact carrying an old bag from TGS. She apologizes for Tracy's behavior and asks if she can pull her hat off. She gets a resounding no from the group.
As she arrives at her office, Pete informs her that sponsors are pulling out. Even the Snuggle bear who is gay. She goes to Tracy to yell at him because of all their co-workers who are gay. And she doesn't understand why he had to pick the gay community. "They are the most organized of all the communities. They make the Japanese look like the Greeks." She asked what he did say, officially. She is horrified by everything he says and tells him he's a public figure and things he says affects people. (SO WELL WRITTEN, MS. FEY). He tells he already called GLAAD, but he actually called Glad trash bags, so it doesn't exactly count. But Tracy's used to offending people. "Remember when I offended stubborn people? That took forever to sort out!"
Jack is in her office and calls her out on her secret boyfriend. He wants to know why she hasn't told him about him. He asks his name but Liz doesn't want to tell him. "Why, is it a stupid name? Like Dakota? Or Barack?" She reveals it's Criss. Jack can't stand her choices which is why Liz didn't tell him. She knew he would get in her head and ruin her happiness. Jack's head is exploding. But she's happy and is relaxed and isn't over thinking everything so she begs him to stay out of her head. Jack wants to meet him but Liz refuses.
Kenneth breaks the news to Jenna that maintenance won't replace the bulb in her dressing room until Tracy apologizes for his gay remarks. Jenna needs her proper lighting. She walks into bad lighting and shows how horrible she looks (Kenneth in drag). She's vastly becoming a B List celebrity. She was informed by Ving Rhames and Teri Polo. She appeals to him to break some rules to get the light bulb himself.
The writers room watches Liz's statement she released to the press regarding Tracy. Liz excuses herself but Tracy confronts her about calling him an idiot. She yells at him for knowing better but continuously making bad choices. (In your face chastising, brilliant Tina Fey!) Tracy decides to organize a protest of idiots. Liz has no words. Pete decides to go take some pills and scotch and pass out for a while. 
Kenneth and Jenna break into the supply room and make a shocking discovery. The pink fluorescent lights that Jenna likes break on the floor and realize that they contain Mercury and they have both been exposed to toxins. Kenneth is horrified at the mess but they leave it. Pete goes into the maintenance room where he likes to nap.
Criss tells Liz about seeing Billy Dee Williams in the park. He tries to engage her in their usual silly conversation but Jack's mirage appears behind him as he is now in Liz's head as she starts to pick apart all the annoying things about Criss, like his Sunglass Hut credit card. She asks if he's going to put on pants today. Criss responds with an 'eh.' Jack has gotten to her.
Tracy has successfully organized a crowd of idiots to chant their own catchy phrase "We're here, we're proud. I came up with this rhyme." As Liz passes them Tracy shows her that he's gotten all idiots involved including "Frat guys, DJ's, loud-mouthed old bitches, investment bankers, the tramp stamped, Parrot Heads, anti-vaccination crusaders and people who won't shut up about SCUBA diving and celebrity spokesperson, Denise Richards." For all intensive purposes.
Liz goes to Jack and begs him to approve of Criss. He's happy she's in her head but he won't approve until he meets him. "I guess this is a Catch 22. Although I can't be sure because I refuse to read literature that questions the morality of war." Jack tells her it's just frustrating to watch her do something that's bad for her. She tells him to get on board and he agrees with her. She's shocked. But he does want to know what Tracy is doing? She explains to him about the idiot protest outside. He freaks out as they need idiots to keep the show going. He shows her a chart of their demographic, "black nerds, Jet Blue passengers who fall asleep with the TV on, pets whose owners have died and idiots." He tells her to go stop it.
Kenneth and Jenna arrive to the maintenance room to clean up and find Pete passed out there. They think they've poisoned him. Kenneth wants to get help but Jenna discourages him as it will harm her new celebrity status. Kenneth is worried he'd get fired out of the page program. They decide to cover it up. She makes a call to her go to guy...Kelsey Grammer.
Liz calls Tracy and leaves him a message to call her. Criss Skypes her to invite her out to dinner since he not only got his Sunglass Hut credit limit raised to $80, he got an investor who gave him $10,000.00. He shows her the check...it's from Jack Donaghy.
To be continued....
(You Tube the Kelsey Grammer/James Bond video...)

The Big Bang Theory "The Recombination Hypothesis " S5E13

Poor Leonard, always try to change things up a bit. As he tries to hint at maybe trying something new for dinner while walking up the many flights of stairs with Sheldon, Sheldon launches into his theory what would've happened if humans evolved from lizards. As they reach their apartment, Penny's door is open and Leonard notices Penny. The two share a glance and Leonard, uncharacteristically throws caution to the wind and asks Penny on a date. Sheldon doesn't notice as his cardboard cutout of Spock has arrived. However, Bernadette and Amy are thrilled by the prospect. Sheldon is dismayed to learn that they sent the wrong Spock. "Live long and suck it, Zachary Quinto."
Bernadette is hoping for a Leonard and Penny reconciliation so that she and Howard will have someone to double date with...a thought that Amy is offended by since the offer is never extended to her and Sheldon. Penny, stressing about what to wear, asks if a skin tight, satin green dress is too much. Bernadette says yes, Amy says no thinking Bernadette just can't handle Penny's raw sexuality. Penny goes the opposite direction into a frumpy outfit which Bernadette approves of and Amy rejects. They inquire to Penny whether sex was going to happen that night. Penny assures them it won't and stops making a big deal out of the whole thing even if she is really nervous. 
Sheldon, Raj and Howard play an intense game of the Settlers of Qatar. Sheldon repeatedly asks the boys if they have any wood which ensues giggle fits from the both of them. 
Leonard is ready for the date and the boys ask if he knows what he's doing and advise him to proceed with caution. Sheldon offers his unsolicited advice that Leonard is fixated on Penny because she's the opposite of his mother. He got the theory from her latest book "Needy Baby, Greedy Baby." But anyone, back to the wood...Sheldon doesn't understand why they're making it so hard.
At dinner, it's a tad awkward but Penny and Leonard are able to pretend that it's actually their first date. Penny tells him all about her failed acting career. Leonard tells Penny about his career as a physicist and he makes good money. She asks if he's a nerd. "I'm not some kind of nerd, I am the King of nerds," he proclaims. Everything is going well and then Leonard drops the bombshell wondering if they're getting back together. Penny says she'll always have feelings for him but Leonard stops her, she used the dreaded word 'always.' She tells him he ALWAYS over thinks things. This escalates into a full blown argument and the date is over.
Leonard arrives home and Sheldon is ready to begin the erection of his settlement. Howard and Raj are beside themselves. They assume that the date didn't go well. In the middle of the night Leonard gets a text from Penny to meet him in the hall. She tells him not to over think things and kisses him. She leads him into her bedroom where they have sex. They come to an agreement that maybe that can just secretly work on things but not tell anyone they're back together. Leonard is satisfied for many reasons, only one of which is that she still has one of his asthma inhalers so he can breathe again.
Leonard sneaks back in to his apartment but is immediately caught by Sheldon. He goes into a detailed lie of having to go to the bathroom at the gas station across the street since Sheldon was in theirs. But being the morally upstanding person he is, Sheldon makes him go back to the gas station and buy something so he didn't just use their facilities for free.
At the cheesecake factory with the gang, Penny waits on them and pretends there is nothing going on until a very real argument starts with Leonard. Bernadette doesn't know how she could be friends with Howard if they broke up as she's a very "vengeful person with an access to weaponized Small Pox."
Again, Leonard receives a text from Penny and they argue in the hall. He proceeds into her house since having sex after arguing is what they do now. Penny can't disagree and complies. But Leonard over thinks everything and can't go through with it...end day dream. We are back to the beginning while Leonard is standing in the hallway with Sheldon bitching about his Zachary Quinto cardboard cutout. He's dreamed out the scenario of he and Penny getting back together and it ends badly. It's obvious what he should do, just let it go.
Instead he marches into Penny's and asks her out. She asks if he's thought it through. He assures he has but he wants to do it anyway. She agrees. :)
Penny has her own daydream of her and Leonard's wedding day where she is a pregnant bride. In reality, it reminds her she needs to stop by the drug store before their date.