Kelsey Grammer storms into Liz's office and informs her there is something wrong with Pete. She rushes to him and his pants are around his ankles with a bag over his head. Huh?
Eight hours earlier...
Jenna asks Kenneth to replace a light bulb in her dressing room. Kenneth happily agrees thinking 'what could go wrong?'
At home, Liz is all happy with new boyfriend Criss (sexy James Marsden). He makes her happy and just understands her. He makes her pancakes and she notices Tracy Jordan is on the news. She turns up the volume and finds out that he offended the gay community. (Ripped from the headlines...)
The gays are out in full force protesting NBC. "When I say NBC, you say 'over it.' NBC, Over IT!" The lead gay in charge point out the 'old bag from TGS' and Liz flips on him until she realizes she is in fact carrying an old bag from TGS. She apologizes for Tracy's behavior and asks if she can pull her hat off. She gets a resounding no from the group.
As she arrives at her office, Pete informs her that sponsors are pulling out. Even the Snuggle bear who is gay. She goes to Tracy to yell at him because of all their co-workers who are gay. And she doesn't understand why he had to pick the gay community. "They are the most organized of all the communities. They make the Japanese look like the Greeks." She asked what he did say, officially. She is horrified by everything he says and tells him he's a public figure and things he says affects people. (SO WELL WRITTEN, MS. FEY). He tells he already called GLAAD, but he actually called Glad trash bags, so it doesn't exactly count. But Tracy's used to offending people. "Remember when I offended stubborn people? That took forever to sort out!"
Jack is in her office and calls her out on her secret boyfriend. He wants to know why she hasn't told him about him. He asks his name but Liz doesn't want to tell him. "Why, is it a stupid name? Like Dakota? Or Barack?" She reveals it's Criss. Jack can't stand her choices which is why Liz didn't tell him. She knew he would get in her head and ruin her happiness. Jack's head is exploding. But she's happy and is relaxed and isn't over thinking everything so she begs him to stay out of her head. Jack wants to meet him but Liz refuses.
Kenneth breaks the news to Jenna that maintenance won't replace the bulb in her dressing room until Tracy apologizes for his gay remarks. Jenna needs her proper lighting. She walks into bad lighting and shows how horrible she looks (Kenneth in drag). She's vastly becoming a B List celebrity. She was informed by Ving Rhames and Teri Polo. She appeals to him to break some rules to get the light bulb himself.
The writers room watches Liz's statement she released to the press regarding Tracy. Liz excuses herself but Tracy confronts her about calling him an idiot. She yells at him for knowing better but continuously making bad choices. (In your face chastising, brilliant Tina Fey!) Tracy decides to organize a protest of idiots. Liz has no words. Pete decides to go take some pills and scotch and pass out for a while.
Kenneth and Jenna break into the supply room and make a shocking discovery. The pink fluorescent lights that Jenna likes break on the floor and realize that they contain Mercury and they have both been exposed to toxins. Kenneth is horrified at the mess but they leave it. Pete goes into the maintenance room where he likes to nap.
Criss tells Liz about seeing Billy Dee Williams in the park. He tries to engage her in their usual silly conversation but Jack's mirage appears behind him as he is now in Liz's head as she starts to pick apart all the annoying things about Criss, like his Sunglass Hut credit card. She asks if he's going to put on pants today. Criss responds with an 'eh.' Jack has gotten to her.
Tracy has successfully organized a crowd of idiots to chant their own catchy phrase "We're here, we're proud. I came up with this rhyme." As Liz passes them Tracy shows her that he's gotten all idiots involved including "Frat guys, DJ's, loud-mouthed old bitches, investment bankers, the tramp stamped, Parrot Heads, anti-vaccination crusaders and people who won't shut up about SCUBA diving and celebrity spokesperson, Denise Richards." For all intensive purposes.
Liz goes to Jack and begs him to approve of Criss. He's happy she's in her head but he won't approve until he meets him. "I guess this is a Catch 22. Although I can't be sure because I refuse to read literature that questions the morality of war." Jack tells her it's just frustrating to watch her do something that's bad for her. She tells him to get on board and he agrees with her. She's shocked. But he does want to know what Tracy is doing? She explains to him about the idiot protest outside. He freaks out as they need idiots to keep the show going. He shows her a chart of their demographic, "black nerds, Jet Blue passengers who fall asleep with the TV on, pets whose owners have died and idiots." He tells her to go stop it.
Kenneth and Jenna arrive to the maintenance room to clean up and find Pete passed out there. They think they've poisoned him. Kenneth wants to get help but Jenna discourages him as it will harm her new celebrity status. Kenneth is worried he'd get fired out of the page program. They decide to cover it up. She makes a call to her go to guy...Kelsey Grammer.
Liz calls Tracy and leaves him a message to call her. Criss Skypes her to invite her out to dinner since he not only got his Sunglass Hut credit limit raised to $80, he got an investor who gave him $10,000.00. He shows her the check...it's from Jack Donaghy.
To be continued....
(You Tube the Kelsey Grammer/James Bond video...)
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